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Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result. - Tommy Armour We want a boy extremely for this function. - Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher One only thought can enter every head; The thought of golf, to wit--and that engages Men of all sizes, tempers, ranks and ages. - G.F. Carnegie Time-honored golf! I heard it whispered once That he who could not play was held a dunce On old Olympus, when it teemed with gods. - G.F. Carnegie When driving ceases, may we still be able To play the shorts, putt and be comfortable. - G.F. Carnegie The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you. - Phyllis Diller And we've leeved it every hour, But say not at all we will loft our ball And hauff the hole in fower. Then dormy hame we can sing through the round, And die like golfers keen, We've played fu' weel the short game and long, The game on the golfing-green. - Thomas Dykes If you watch a game, it's fun. IF you play it, it's recreation. if you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope (Leslie Townes Hope) Golf is recognized as one of the more difficult games to play or teach. One reason for this is that each person necessarily plays by feel, and a feel is almost impossible to describe. - Bobby Jones Either a wise man will not go into bunkers, or, being in, he will endure such things as befall him with patience. - Andrew Lang Don't drive at a fellow-creature, so long as there is a reasonable chance of hitting him. - William Edward Norris The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil. - Chi Chi Rodriguez The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Arthur William Russell Welcome, grave stranger, to our green retreats, Where health with exercise and freedom meets. - Sir Walter Scott So they Doubly redoubled strokes. - William Shakespeare Strike, brave boys, and take your turns. - William Shakespeare The harder match'd, the greater victory. - William Shakespeare What subtle hole is this? - William Shakespeare Your play needs no excuse. - William Shakespeare Where will I get a little page, Where will I get a caddie? - Thistle of Scotland
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