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HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN
American journalist and literary critic
(1880 - 1956)
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Truth would quickly cease to become stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it.
      - [Truth]

Voting is simply a way of determining which side is the stronger without putting it to the test of fighting.
      - [Voting]

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
      - [Respect]

What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
      - [Privilege]

What restrains us from killing is partly fear of punishment, partly moral scruple, and partly what may be described as a sense of humor.
      - [Murder]

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
      - [Marriage]

Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.
      - [Love of Country]

You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
      - [Life]

Anyhow, the hole in the doughnut is at least digestible.
      - Chrestomathy (p. 626) [Doughnuts]

Why do men delight in work? Fundamentally, I suppose, becasue there is a sense of relief and pleasure in getting something done--a kind of satisfaction not unlike that which a hen enjoys on laying an egg.
      - Minority Report [Work]

No one in this world, so far as I know--and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me--has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has any one ever lost public office thereby. The mistake that is made always runs the other way. Because the plain people are able to speak and understand, and even, in many cases, to read and write, it is assumed that they have ideas in their heads, and an appetite for more. This assumption is folly. They dislike ideas, for ideas make them uncomfortable.
      - Notes on Journalism,
        an article in the "Chicago Tribune", September 19, 1926, p. G1
        [Education : Ideas]

The university president who cashiered every professor unwilling to support Woodrow Wilson for the first vacancy in the
  Trinity. . . .
      - Star-spangled Men,
        in the "New Republic", Sep. 29, 1920
        [Wilson, Woodrow]

Balloonists have an unsurpassed view of the scenery, but there is always the possibility that it may collide with them.
      - The Bend in the Tube [Balloons]


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