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HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN
American journalist and literary critic
(1880 - 1956)
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The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
      - [Cynicism]

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.
      - [Demagogue]

The great artists of the world are never puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable.
      - [Artists]

The idea that the sole aim of punishment is to prevent crime is obviously grounded upon the theory that crime can be prevented, which is almost as dubious as the notion that poverty can be prevented.
      - [Punishment]

The ideal state for a philosopher, indeed, is celibacy tempered by polygamy.
      - [Ideals]

The ideal way to get rid of any infectious disease would be to shoot instantly every person who comes down with it.
      - [Disease]

The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits.
      - [Military]

The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.
      - [Puritanism]

The only kind of freedom that the mob can imagine is freedom to annoy and oppress its betters, and that is precisely the kind that we mainly have.
      - [Freedom]

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
      - [Happiness]

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
      - [Courts]

The prophesying business is like writing fugues; it is fatal to every one save the man of absolute genius.
      - [Prophecy (Prophesy)]

The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.
      - [Lying]

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.
      - [Humanity]

The value the world sets upon motives is often grossly unjust and inaccurate.
      - [Motive]

The way for newspapers to meet the competition of radio and television is simply to get out better papers.
      - [Newspapers]

The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.
      - [Jealousy]

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
      - [Politics]

The wholly manly man lacks the wit necessary to give objective form to his soaring and secret dreams, and the wholly womanly woman is apt to be too cynical a creature to dream at all.
      - [Dreams]

The worst government is the most moral.
      - [Government]

There are two kinds of music; German music and bad music.
      - [Music]

They have taken the care and upbringing of children out of the hands of parents, where it belongs, and thrown it upon a gang of irresponsible and unintelligent quacks.
      - [Parents]

Time is the great legalizer, even in the field of morals.
      - [Time]

To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment.
      - [Morality]

To wage a war for a purely moral reason is as absurd as to ravish a woman for a purely moral reason.
      - [Morality]


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